Concerning Costco Samples, Piss and Anthills

I got a fever today, so I'm hanging out at home, playing the blues you know. I was thinking...Idioms are great. I mean, they have an idiom for everything! A quick search on Idiomsite.com shows that there literally millions. For example:

1) Adding fuel to the fire
2) A taste of your own medicine
3) Killing two birds with one stone
4) Cut to the chase

So this blog post, will mark the invention of a NEW idiom, coined by yours truly.

So how does this relate? Well you need a little back story to start off with. So I was talking to my friend in the States and we were laughing about the time I ate every sample in Costco. I even tried a lime. Yes. You heard me right, a fucking LIME. I hate limes, but if something is free, my mind will actually do mental gymnastics to make myself believe that the lime is actually delicious. I fucking love samples. I LOVE THEM. I'm pretty sure if I ordered a steak and the waitress was like, "The steak comes with a free desert of DOG SHIT", I'll probably nod to her and say "Sounds good! Serve it last, I want to make room for the steak first".

Also, before I continue any further, this picture was the first thing that came up when I put a Google search in for "costco samples". I love the stereotypes of this picture! From the Asian dude gobbling up samples by the TRAY, right down to the two heavy-set Latin women working at a supermarket.

Okay, sorry, slight digression here. If you know me, you'll understand. I can't focus, I'm not very bright, can't really keep on task and I tend to repeat myself a lot, so bear with me and hopefully I'll grow on you! Grow on you like mold in an athlete's foot, that is. Ah fuck, I just did it again. Okay so, I was looking up idioms for the heck of it WHILE laughing with the chick about the costco incident and she asked me:

"Why'd you eat that fucking lime anyway, Josiah?"
"Well...I guess..I'm not sure. I guess I kind of just wanted to? It was just there so I ate it you know?.."  

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I struggled to find the words to describe my feeling of "I just felt like it". That's when I decided to go onto the idiom website in search of an idiom that would help me describe the feeling of "just for the heck of it" albeit more intellectually of course. I scoured, searched, looked, scrambled the whole of the idiom site for a good 1 and a half minutes before my ADHD kicked in and before I knew it I was playing Brubeck's Take 5 on my guitar.

This was when I realized, there was no idiom for "Just for the heck of it". Well, there probably is an idiom for that, however, my short attention span prevents me from finding it. Maybe Rajit or something will know. Anyway, this is when I decided to go neologist on everyone's ass and INVENT a new idiom!

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So here's the idea behind the idiom. As stated above, the idiom is to describe doing something for the "heck of it". See that photo on the left? Yeah, that's an Ant Hill. My idiom for doing something for the heck of it is:

"Peeing on an Anthill"

So, how did I get the peeing part? Well, you ever go like, camping or on an outdoor hike or something? When you need to take a piss, you kind of go into the forest to take one right? And sometimes, you see an anthill. You ever take a piss on that anthill before? Don't lie, all guys have taken a piss on the fucking anthill. All guys, and well, evidently some very courageous chicks have flooded the home of some poor ant colony with the frothy, golden liquid of joy that is piss, right from the urethra.  I was asking myself last night, being a degenerate philosopher, WHY do we pee on ant hills? I mean, it's like you already have your cock out and your ready to unleash your fluid of death...may as well move the trajectory of the stream a little to the right and hit the anthill, right? Why do we do that?
The answer is, we do it... for the HECK of it. And that's when I knew I found my idiom. Allow me now to demonstrate this idiom in action:

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Person 1: "Why did you eat that horrible costco sample?"
Person 2: No reason, just felt like Peeing on an Anthill

Person 1: "Why did you masturbate on the plane?!"
Person 2: No reason, just felt like PEEING ON AN ANTHILL

Person 1: "Why did you go see Usher instead of The Eagles?!"
Person 2: No reason, I should be PISSED ON LIKE AN ANTHILL for my decision making skills.

Lastly, Peeing on an Anthill can be abbreviated into PoaA in text message situations much like lmao, rofl and lol.

Person 1: dud, y di u h0ok up wid her?
Person 2: lul, i waz PoaA!!!11one   

Let me, now, show you this picture of Dario dressed up as a snowboarding tiger thing. Why did I post that? Well because I felt like (everyone say it with me!):

Peeing. On. An. Anthill.

Compelling stuff huh? Once again, thanks for reading! Post a comment I would love to hear your thoughts on my new idiom, I love comments. Comments make me happy. Screw you Mr. Reich, comments are great. Comments. Oh did you know, I recently discovered you can change text color on Weebly? What an age we're living in, huh?

So anyway, comments greatly appreciated, thanks for reading and remember, if we didn't destroy an anthill with our piss every time we went camping, the fucking world will be overrun with ANTS. So the next time you pee on an anthill, think of this idiom, and give yourself a pat on your back for being a vigilante in the fight against the ant invasion.

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